Kick Ass Puppy

Trained to fight in a hundred styles
Trained to hunt using only his wiles
Trained to make love to beautiful foes
Trained to tell fortunes using only his toes
Trained to speak in a thousand tongues
Trained to yell at the top of his lungs
Trained to run as fast as a cheetah
Trained to know his quarts from his litres
Trained in the art of espionage
Trained not to laugh at Little and Large
Trained to add up, subtract and divide
Trained to eat calamari, fresh or fried
Trained to be everywhere and nowhere at once
Trained to be intelligent but appear like the dunce
Trained to use crayons as deadly weapons
Trained to endure sixteen fresh lemons
Trained to use ancient mind techniques
Trained to mend pipes and repair leaks
Trained to be stealthy, cunning and sly
Trained to know when it’s OK to cry
Trained to use his fur as distraction
Trained to be cute to get a little action
Trained to bark once for yes and twice for no
Trained at the Ninja Kick Ass Puppy dojo

(c) 2007, Neil Gardner